Just for fun, here are a few silly haikus that popped into my head while at work:
1. That Empty Feeling
The attendant waits
Garbage gatherer crackles
Empty bin once more
2. Ode to Bamboo
Bamboo shoots from stones --
slick slimy interspersed roots
create thick green leaves
3. Ochre Circles
Water dripping there,
making ochre circles here
on old fabric walls
4. Nothing is Useless
Leopard-printed cup
taking up useful desk space --
Wallet needs a home.
5. Party Cups
A leather coaster,
dark brown with wet sweat rings.
Cup has too much ice.
6. Superhero
Honest mystery --
Oppressed voices call to me
I can’t free them all
7. Electric Horror
Electrostatic
dreams that make hairs stand on end --
only you’re awake
8. Buddha Baby
Chubby Buddha sits,
wakeful watching wisdom full
Empty with promise
9. Stitch and Bitch
Spiders weaving webs
Knitting a tall tale of woe
Spinning a great yarn
10. Sure on this Shining Night
Barber wander weeps
while I sit surely sighing,
weeping in wonder
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Happy Happy Joy Joy
A collective sigh of relief -- elections are over and the Dems are victorious. Woo hoo! As of this posting, we're still waiting to hear about the Senate (right now it's a tie), but either way, GWB got a swift kick in the you-know-what. Now let's hope they don't squander away the opportunity. Both parties have had an unfortunate history of that in recent years. Anyway, I'm glad it's over...elections are so harrowing!
My friend N just told me that he has cancer. That makes me so sad. I'm sure he'll come through it just fine, because he's strong and fiesty. But I'm sad that he has to go through all the radiation treatments and such and wish I could somehow fix it all for him. All I can do is to be there, I guess. And I promised to send him distance Reiki to help speed his recovery. Hey, it can't hurt.
I wonder whether we'll see a cure for cancer in our lifetime. That sure would be a wonderful thing, wouldn't it? Cures for HIV/AIDS and obesity would also be pretty awesome. Aw, hell...let's just cure everything while we're at it!
A little haiku on this theme:
Diseases claim lives
Living through them makes us strong
Is strong a good thing?
My friend N just told me that he has cancer. That makes me so sad. I'm sure he'll come through it just fine, because he's strong and fiesty. But I'm sad that he has to go through all the radiation treatments and such and wish I could somehow fix it all for him. All I can do is to be there, I guess. And I promised to send him distance Reiki to help speed his recovery. Hey, it can't hurt.
I wonder whether we'll see a cure for cancer in our lifetime. That sure would be a wonderful thing, wouldn't it? Cures for HIV/AIDS and obesity would also be pretty awesome. Aw, hell...let's just cure everything while we're at it!
A little haiku on this theme:
Diseases claim lives
Living through them makes us strong
Is strong a good thing?
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Civic Duty is Complete
I got up and did my civic duty today. I was among the first in line to vote this morning, in fact. I really enjoy voting in my neighborhood -- Montrose. We vote at the Lovett Inn, a wonderful B&B literally right around the corner. Each year since we've lived here, I've rolled out of bed, thrown on some sweats, and walked around the block to the polling place. This year, I changed it up a little bit since Blu, our boy cat, decided to start "talking" to me at 6:30am. So I got up a little earlier than usual, fed the "kids", took a shower, and THEN threw on some sweats to go vote -- not before starting the coffee, of course. I was still there before they opened. But it's just nice going there. The constituency is pretty uniformly liberal-minded, and predominantly gay or gay-friendly. You don't ever see a sign for or get a "who to vote for" card from a republican -- they just don't even bother with our district because they would never win. Of course, Texas is so overwhelmingly republican these days, they really don't need to. There were pages of uncontested republicans for seats in the judiciary and for small offices most people have never heard of. I just abstained from voting for those as a small way of demonstrating my discontent.
Still, as "nice" as it is to vote there, I have to say that, this morning, I found it almost a little disheartening (and it's not just because they didn't give us coffee and donuts this year like they usually do). I guess sometimes a little controversy is nice. Necessary, even. In a heavily republican district, I could feel like I was rebelling against something, or being, in my way, subversive for being contrary to the local norm. Strange, isn't it? I am a person who generally hates -- indeed, AVOIDS -- conflict; I prefer it when everyone gets along. Or, at least, I think I do. So why wasn't I feeling delighted to be surrounded by people who I'm pretty sure mostly held similar beliefs to my own? I guess it's because the more hotly contested races are just more exciting. In a district like mine, I could clearly see why people can get so complacent about voting. I had to keep reminding myself that "numbers do count" and that it's worthwhile voting, even when it seems like it's pointless.
Do I actually somehow revel in being the underdog? Has it become part of who I am? From my earliest memories, I have always rooted for the underdog, the misunderstood, the downtrodden. I have felt for them on a very deep level. I suppose I identified with them, probably because I always felt a little misunderstood and apart from the pack, too. But have I romanticized the idea of struggle and, therefore, actually visited struggle upon myself in order to feel virtuous or just? I tend to be an iconoclast, and, consciously or unconciously, I do tend to demonize authority and power. Not always, but often.
For many, many years, I certainly bought into the idea of struggle as it related to pursuing my music. The starving bohemian, giving up everything to pursue a dream. Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore - I have lived for art and I have lived for love... Tosca's great lament. "So, why, Lord, do you repay me like this?" she cries at the climax. I get it. In Amadeus, Salieri, near death, curses God for giving him the desire to make great music, only to withhold from him the talent to do so. Again, I get it. I feel it. I have lived it.
So, I ask myself again, did I translate this empathy for others into a lifelong, unconcious obsession with making my life a struggle, just so that I can also be the "underdog"? Interesting question. Metaphysics says that we create our reality through our thoughts -- what we think of and about ourselves and our situations is what we invite into our lives. If this is so, then perhaps I have done that without realizing it...at least in some areas of my life. Conversely, if this is true, then I should be able to change that, too...right?
Hmm...something to consider and work through. Troy asked me last night why it is that I seem (to him) to be "afraid to step into my own power." I wasn't sure last night how to answer that, or even really what he meant by that. But now, I wonder... Maybe the answer--or part of it-- lies somewhere wrapped up in this issue. If I step into my power, then I am no longer one of the underdogs of the world for whom I have such undying empathy. Perhaps what I'm afraid of is becoming "one of THEM" -- the powerful; the ones who take advantage of the weakness of others.
Pretty silly, when you really think about it. Seeing it in writing does allow me to see a little more objectively my "cognitive error" (as Troy is fond of saying these days -- he's getting a master's in psych).
Yep, definitely something to think about here... See, blogging is good!
Still, as "nice" as it is to vote there, I have to say that, this morning, I found it almost a little disheartening (and it's not just because they didn't give us coffee and donuts this year like they usually do). I guess sometimes a little controversy is nice. Necessary, even. In a heavily republican district, I could feel like I was rebelling against something, or being, in my way, subversive for being contrary to the local norm. Strange, isn't it? I am a person who generally hates -- indeed, AVOIDS -- conflict; I prefer it when everyone gets along. Or, at least, I think I do. So why wasn't I feeling delighted to be surrounded by people who I'm pretty sure mostly held similar beliefs to my own? I guess it's because the more hotly contested races are just more exciting. In a district like mine, I could clearly see why people can get so complacent about voting. I had to keep reminding myself that "numbers do count" and that it's worthwhile voting, even when it seems like it's pointless.
Do I actually somehow revel in being the underdog? Has it become part of who I am? From my earliest memories, I have always rooted for the underdog, the misunderstood, the downtrodden. I have felt for them on a very deep level. I suppose I identified with them, probably because I always felt a little misunderstood and apart from the pack, too. But have I romanticized the idea of struggle and, therefore, actually visited struggle upon myself in order to feel virtuous or just? I tend to be an iconoclast, and, consciously or unconciously, I do tend to demonize authority and power. Not always, but often.
For many, many years, I certainly bought into the idea of struggle as it related to pursuing my music. The starving bohemian, giving up everything to pursue a dream. Vissi d'arte, vissi d'amore - I have lived for art and I have lived for love... Tosca's great lament. "So, why, Lord, do you repay me like this?" she cries at the climax. I get it. In Amadeus, Salieri, near death, curses God for giving him the desire to make great music, only to withhold from him the talent to do so. Again, I get it. I feel it. I have lived it.
So, I ask myself again, did I translate this empathy for others into a lifelong, unconcious obsession with making my life a struggle, just so that I can also be the "underdog"? Interesting question. Metaphysics says that we create our reality through our thoughts -- what we think of and about ourselves and our situations is what we invite into our lives. If this is so, then perhaps I have done that without realizing it...at least in some areas of my life. Conversely, if this is true, then I should be able to change that, too...right?
Hmm...something to consider and work through. Troy asked me last night why it is that I seem (to him) to be "afraid to step into my own power." I wasn't sure last night how to answer that, or even really what he meant by that. But now, I wonder... Maybe the answer--or part of it-- lies somewhere wrapped up in this issue. If I step into my power, then I am no longer one of the underdogs of the world for whom I have such undying empathy. Perhaps what I'm afraid of is becoming "one of THEM" -- the powerful; the ones who take advantage of the weakness of others.
Pretty silly, when you really think about it. Seeing it in writing does allow me to see a little more objectively my "cognitive error" (as Troy is fond of saying these days -- he's getting a master's in psych).
Yep, definitely something to think about here... See, blogging is good!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Big Mind
I have enrolled in a meditation workshop called "Big Mind". It's Monday evenings from Nov. 13-December 4 (or something like that) and is being run by another massage therapist and teacher in town, Alan Davidson (www.throughyourbody.com). I'm really looking forward to it, as I've been wanting to get "reconnected'' for awhile now. I had back surgery in August, and since then I have been feeling a little bit "off". A lot of stress, I guess, with school, exams, surgery, my full-time job, starting another business, and trying to keep up with the rest of daily life -- oh, and not to mention have a healthy relationship and a social life! It's all good stuff, but kind of overwhelming at times, too. I think I will enjoy having the time and space every Monday to work on integrating it all into my being. To "harmonize" everything, if you will. If I can get back into the healthy habit of meditating and going within, I know I will have the inner strength and balance to be able to handle more of what I want to do and what life throws at me.
I'm also considering going away for a weekend by myself to just write, meditate, pray, commune, stretch, and whatever else I feel like I need to do to bring the focus back to myself for a short while. As a massage therapist, I spend a lot of time helping my clients to focus on themselves, but I know that in order to do that honestly, I have to make sure that I also spend enough time keeping myself centered and balanced. I've been hit by a lot of moments of "synchronicity" lately that have been virtually screaming at me to pay attention to that, so that's what I'm trying to do. And I feel like maybe this workshop will be a good way to jump start things. I could probably use that. It's so easy to get complacent about these things. I do tend to want to play the hero and give, give, give. Then I wonder why suddenly I feel wrung out and used up. I need to get better about continually "refilling the well" as Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way) would say.
I'll report back about the workshop next week to say how it went. In the meantime, I guess I should get back to work....
I'm also considering going away for a weekend by myself to just write, meditate, pray, commune, stretch, and whatever else I feel like I need to do to bring the focus back to myself for a short while. As a massage therapist, I spend a lot of time helping my clients to focus on themselves, but I know that in order to do that honestly, I have to make sure that I also spend enough time keeping myself centered and balanced. I've been hit by a lot of moments of "synchronicity" lately that have been virtually screaming at me to pay attention to that, so that's what I'm trying to do. And I feel like maybe this workshop will be a good way to jump start things. I could probably use that. It's so easy to get complacent about these things. I do tend to want to play the hero and give, give, give. Then I wonder why suddenly I feel wrung out and used up. I need to get better about continually "refilling the well" as Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way) would say.
I'll report back about the workshop next week to say how it went. In the meantime, I guess I should get back to work....
Saturday, November 04, 2006
The Upcoming Election
I have no intention of making this a political blog. However, with just a few days until the election, I can't help it -- it's on my mind. This is one of those times when I really hate living in a red state. I don't get to vote in any really significant elections, other than the governor's race. Rick Perry is going to win again, and that seems almost guaranteed. Still, I'll do my part and vote for change. But Rick Perry just strikes me as another GWB wannabe, and I find it terrifying. His ads look more like he's promoting his new show "Rick Perry: Texas Ranger". I don't even know if he can talk, but, hey, he looks good walking on the Texas plains in tight jeans and a suede jacket, and he seems to know his way around horses, so he MUST be a good governor, right? Ugh. I just don't get how people can't see through the fact that we are now being ruled by an incredibly intolerant REGIME. My greatest hope is that major change happens on Tuesday, that the Dems take control of both House and Senate, and actually have the guts to challenge GWB on all his totalitarian policies. Not that I'm a fan of may of the Dems, either. But, given the choice, I think I'd even have Nixon back than have what we have now. Either way, we need more checks and balances. Though I've pretty much been a life-long Democrat (sometimes Independent, and occasionally Libertarian), part of me thinks that the best things happen in this country when one party is not in total control: "Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely." But, in this case, I would like to see GWB impeached and arrested for war crimes. The level of incompetence in this administration is just mind-numbing, and if they remain in control after Tuesday, then I think I will end up in a major downward emotional spiral. My confidence in democracy will take a major hit and I will once again -- probably not for the last time -- seriously consider moving to another country. Maybe someplace where Troy and I could actually get married...
That's another thing -- can someone PLEASE explain to me how and why gay marriage can possibly cause "irreparable damage to the fabric of society"??? Granted, I have a bias here. But, seriously, how does it affect any straight person in any way whatsoever? Being against allowing same-sex couples to wed is such an indefensible, irrational position that the only thing people can come up with is "the bible says so." Well, no it doesn't. But, even if it did, the bible says a lot of things that we collectively overlook because we are progressive, compassionate society. Slavery? It's in the bible, but we now ignore it. "The Bible" is simply not a viable argument. Maybe in church it is, but not in a government system that's based on a separation of church and state. People, if you're going to argue this point and actively work to keep a segment of society from forming stable relationships, then you need to come up with something better than that. If you don't want us to marry in your church, that's up to you and your congregation. But who are you to actually OUTLAW it by constitutional amendment? Actual scientific research doesn't even support the "one man, one woman" philosophy of raising children as the "best" way. In reality, there are many, many healthy, happy, normal and even heterosexual children who have grown up in homes with loving gay parents. There is no higher incidence of dysfunction than in the general straight population, and there is a significantly LOWER instance of child abuse among children growing up in homes with stable gay parents. Go figure.
Ever wonder why there are so many gay sex scandals in politics -- especially among republicians and evangelicals recently? Do people really still not get the fact that as long as society considers immoral the normal, healthy same-sex sexuality that occurs naturally in most species, then there will be people out there who feel they must hide and repress their natural tendencies? As with anything we repress, it comes out somewhere. Mostly it seems to come out in the form of hate speech and hate crimes -- we rail the strongest against the things deep inside ourselves that we don't want to acknowledge. And sometimes, as in the cases of folks like Mark Foley and Ted Haggard, it comes out as hate speech AND private indiscretions. If men and women can't live honestly as who they are, then their darker aspects begin to emerge, sometimes in the form of sexual predatoriness and sometimes by "discretely" hiring hustlers, doing drugs, etc.
I feel very sorry for these men, in a way. Many will misinterpret their fall as "see what happens? -- this is god's punishment because they're gay." No. This is society's punishment because they are shameful hypocrites. They built entire careers railing against those who proudly express the very nature that they, themselves, cannot. It's actually really, really sad when you think about it. I'm sure they were both born perfect, beautiful babies, as we all were. But somewhere along the way they bought into the ubiquitous messages that "gay is bad", so they supressed, repressed, denied, ignored, and did their very best to deflect attention from themselves by spreading hate and preaching intolerance and injustice about the very group of people with whom they would not, could not identify themselves. See what happens?
Anyway, that's where I am right now. I really don't mean to offend anyone, but if I'm going to be honest, I guess I have to be ok with the fact that I may just do that now and again. And I really don't have a problem with having intelligent, well thought-out debate on just about anything. I don't think everyone needs to have the same opinion about things. The war? I don't know how to win it or what we should do, and I don't have a crystal ball. Bring on your ideas. Let's disagree, and maybe somewhere in there we'll come up with a creative solution that might really work. But when it comes down to attempting to defend hate and deny people basic rights, then you need to have a better reason than "the bible" or "that's just how I feel." Sorry, that's not gonna fly with me.
That's another thing -- can someone PLEASE explain to me how and why gay marriage can possibly cause "irreparable damage to the fabric of society"??? Granted, I have a bias here. But, seriously, how does it affect any straight person in any way whatsoever? Being against allowing same-sex couples to wed is such an indefensible, irrational position that the only thing people can come up with is "the bible says so." Well, no it doesn't. But, even if it did, the bible says a lot of things that we collectively overlook because we are progressive, compassionate society. Slavery? It's in the bible, but we now ignore it. "The Bible" is simply not a viable argument. Maybe in church it is, but not in a government system that's based on a separation of church and state. People, if you're going to argue this point and actively work to keep a segment of society from forming stable relationships, then you need to come up with something better than that. If you don't want us to marry in your church, that's up to you and your congregation. But who are you to actually OUTLAW it by constitutional amendment? Actual scientific research doesn't even support the "one man, one woman" philosophy of raising children as the "best" way. In reality, there are many, many healthy, happy, normal and even heterosexual children who have grown up in homes with loving gay parents. There is no higher incidence of dysfunction than in the general straight population, and there is a significantly LOWER instance of child abuse among children growing up in homes with stable gay parents. Go figure.
Ever wonder why there are so many gay sex scandals in politics -- especially among republicians and evangelicals recently? Do people really still not get the fact that as long as society considers immoral the normal, healthy same-sex sexuality that occurs naturally in most species, then there will be people out there who feel they must hide and repress their natural tendencies? As with anything we repress, it comes out somewhere. Mostly it seems to come out in the form of hate speech and hate crimes -- we rail the strongest against the things deep inside ourselves that we don't want to acknowledge. And sometimes, as in the cases of folks like Mark Foley and Ted Haggard, it comes out as hate speech AND private indiscretions. If men and women can't live honestly as who they are, then their darker aspects begin to emerge, sometimes in the form of sexual predatoriness and sometimes by "discretely" hiring hustlers, doing drugs, etc.
I feel very sorry for these men, in a way. Many will misinterpret their fall as "see what happens? -- this is god's punishment because they're gay." No. This is society's punishment because they are shameful hypocrites. They built entire careers railing against those who proudly express the very nature that they, themselves, cannot. It's actually really, really sad when you think about it. I'm sure they were both born perfect, beautiful babies, as we all were. But somewhere along the way they bought into the ubiquitous messages that "gay is bad", so they supressed, repressed, denied, ignored, and did their very best to deflect attention from themselves by spreading hate and preaching intolerance and injustice about the very group of people with whom they would not, could not identify themselves. See what happens?
Anyway, that's where I am right now. I really don't mean to offend anyone, but if I'm going to be honest, I guess I have to be ok with the fact that I may just do that now and again. And I really don't have a problem with having intelligent, well thought-out debate on just about anything. I don't think everyone needs to have the same opinion about things. The war? I don't know how to win it or what we should do, and I don't have a crystal ball. Bring on your ideas. Let's disagree, and maybe somewhere in there we'll come up with a creative solution that might really work. But when it comes down to attempting to defend hate and deny people basic rights, then you need to have a better reason than "the bible" or "that's just how I feel." Sorry, that's not gonna fly with me.
Friday, November 03, 2006
Maya My My
I realize I may be a little while past the curve here, but I just finished reading Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Now, having finished it, I'm still not really clear on exactly why the caged bird DOES sing (though I have my ideas about that), but my god does Maya know how to write! Poetry just pours out of her pen. Aside from it being an engaging story and a heartfelt glimpse into a world I can never truly understand, I was incredibly moved by the sheer beauty of the writing and the way she strings her phrases together. I found myself savoring the words and lingering over countless sentences, reading them again and again, marveling at her mastery of the language. I haven't read much of her work, but reading this book made me want to read more and to see how her writing has evolved since then (it was written in the lae 60's, after all). More to the point, reading it inspired me to want to get some words down on "paper", too -- hence this blog, I guess.
In my everyday life -- in my "day job", if you will -- I'm a writer. Well, sort of. I write grant proposals and things for a nonprofit, and I've done it for almost 10 years. It's not exactly poetry, but is creative in its way -- and helps to raise money to support a good cause. I like to write...mostly. But the writing I do for my job isn't really very fulfilling, and I've not really ever explored doing much else beyond writing for business. As I get older, though, I find that I'm becoming more drawn to wanting to explore what lies beyond business in a number of ways; and that includes writing, and it's a big reason I decided to pursue massage therapy as a mid-life career change.
I can certainly be long-winded when I get going, huh? I guess there's more in my head that wants to come out than I think there is. I'm really going to try hard not to put absolutely EVERY thought I have down in this blog, but it might take a little time for me to figure out where that line is. We'll see. For now, it's new and fun, but I've never been all that good with consistency. I'm a typical Aquarian, always looking for the new and different, and I'm easily bored. It's a character "defect" that I'm working on...
In my everyday life -- in my "day job", if you will -- I'm a writer. Well, sort of. I write grant proposals and things for a nonprofit, and I've done it for almost 10 years. It's not exactly poetry, but is creative in its way -- and helps to raise money to support a good cause. I like to write...mostly. But the writing I do for my job isn't really very fulfilling, and I've not really ever explored doing much else beyond writing for business. As I get older, though, I find that I'm becoming more drawn to wanting to explore what lies beyond business in a number of ways; and that includes writing, and it's a big reason I decided to pursue massage therapy as a mid-life career change.
I can certainly be long-winded when I get going, huh? I guess there's more in my head that wants to come out than I think there is. I'm really going to try hard not to put absolutely EVERY thought I have down in this blog, but it might take a little time for me to figure out where that line is. We'll see. For now, it's new and fun, but I've never been all that good with consistency. I'm a typical Aquarian, always looking for the new and different, and I'm easily bored. It's a character "defect" that I'm working on...
My First Blog
"Why blog?" I ask myself. I honestly have no idea. I rarely even read other people's blogs. But lately I've been telling myself that it would be a good thing to start writing down my thoughts. I have this vague idea that someday I might like to write a book -- only I don't really have any clue right now what that book might be about. Fiction? Doubtful. Non-fiction is more likely...but on what subject? I don't know right now, but maybe if I just start writing about stuff, something will emerge. Maybe. You never know unless you try, right?
Anyway, I recently became a licensed massage therapist in Texas and am in the process of building a business so that I can eventually be fully and happily (?) self-employed. Though I'm technically new to the business, I have actually been giving massages for more than 10 years -- I just didn't get paid for it. My partner, Troy, with whom I have spent almost 10 glorious (and occasionally dramatic) years, has in many ways been my best teacher as he has consistently been my most challenging client. Troy has dealt with quite a number of chronic physical issues over the years, including spinal surgery on both his cervical and lumbar regions.
In addition to his various and competing physical symptoms, which I won't discuss here in any detail, he is also blessed (or perhaps cursed) with extremely dense muscle and fascia, which makes the deep massage work he likes so much a real challenge for me. In order to provide him with the pain relief he seeks, I have been continually challenged over the years to find ways to use my body to get to the deepest layers of muscle and fascia while also protecting my hands and body from burnout. I am happy to say that he now considers me his favorite massage therapist (and he's not just saying that because I'd kill him if he didn't!).
For me, this has resulted in developing very strong hands and a fine attention to technique, while also deepening my knowledge and understanding of the body and how everything works together.
I could go on and on about this...and perhaps I will, as I now have a blog! Suffice it to say, I am so excited about doing massage, and I look forward to taking all the continuing education classes I can possibly afford. There is really nothing right now that gives me greater joy and satisfaction, and I really hope that my clientele will build quickly. I love connecting with people on this kind of intimate level (and professional massage IS intimate, so don't read anything nasty into that, please!), I enjoy the feeling of using my body to help heal another body, and I get really excited about deepening my understanding of anatomy and physiology. Sometimes think maybe I should have gone into medicine from the start....
I am constantly surprised at how much I love doing what I do. Surprised, I guess, because for many years I studied to be a professional opera singer (perhaps I'll discuss more about that later on), so you would think that I would really miss the music, the applause, the spotlight, etc. And sometimes I do. But the truth is, I never really LOVED performing. To me, performing was a necessary evil -- and extremely anxiety producing. What I really enjoyed about it (aside from the music itself -- Wagner rules!) was the rehearsing. That may sound strange, until you realize that most of the creativity happened (at least for me) in the rehearsal studio. I loved working with a partner or ensemble and sharing energy back and forth. So, in an odd way, massage gives me that feeling of creativity and energetic sharing without the strain and anxiety of performing in front of an audience.
Again, don't get me started, or this first blog may just turn into that book I was talking about! I may continue this discussion on other days, or may just post random thoughts, musings, shockingly shoddy attempts at poetry, or whatever. No matter what it is, though, it's going to be a view into me -- where I am in that moment -- and it will be as honest as possible. Will anyone care? I can't imagine why they would. But I'm going to do it anyway. Maybe I'll be surprised.
Oh, and please check out my Web site if you have a chance. I do business out of my home studio under the name Your Body in Harmony [conveniently also the title of this blog ;-) ]. And if you're in Houston or plan to visit and would like a fantastic massage, drop me a line!
In harmony,
Joseph
Anyway, I recently became a licensed massage therapist in Texas and am in the process of building a business so that I can eventually be fully and happily (?) self-employed. Though I'm technically new to the business, I have actually been giving massages for more than 10 years -- I just didn't get paid for it. My partner, Troy, with whom I have spent almost 10 glorious (and occasionally dramatic) years, has in many ways been my best teacher as he has consistently been my most challenging client. Troy has dealt with quite a number of chronic physical issues over the years, including spinal surgery on both his cervical and lumbar regions.
In addition to his various and competing physical symptoms, which I won't discuss here in any detail, he is also blessed (or perhaps cursed) with extremely dense muscle and fascia, which makes the deep massage work he likes so much a real challenge for me. In order to provide him with the pain relief he seeks, I have been continually challenged over the years to find ways to use my body to get to the deepest layers of muscle and fascia while also protecting my hands and body from burnout. I am happy to say that he now considers me his favorite massage therapist (and he's not just saying that because I'd kill him if he didn't!).
For me, this has resulted in developing very strong hands and a fine attention to technique, while also deepening my knowledge and understanding of the body and how everything works together.
I could go on and on about this...and perhaps I will, as I now have a blog! Suffice it to say, I am so excited about doing massage, and I look forward to taking all the continuing education classes I can possibly afford. There is really nothing right now that gives me greater joy and satisfaction, and I really hope that my clientele will build quickly. I love connecting with people on this kind of intimate level (and professional massage IS intimate, so don't read anything nasty into that, please!), I enjoy the feeling of using my body to help heal another body, and I get really excited about deepening my understanding of anatomy and physiology. Sometimes think maybe I should have gone into medicine from the start....
I am constantly surprised at how much I love doing what I do. Surprised, I guess, because for many years I studied to be a professional opera singer (perhaps I'll discuss more about that later on), so you would think that I would really miss the music, the applause, the spotlight, etc. And sometimes I do. But the truth is, I never really LOVED performing. To me, performing was a necessary evil -- and extremely anxiety producing. What I really enjoyed about it (aside from the music itself -- Wagner rules!) was the rehearsing. That may sound strange, until you realize that most of the creativity happened (at least for me) in the rehearsal studio. I loved working with a partner or ensemble and sharing energy back and forth. So, in an odd way, massage gives me that feeling of creativity and energetic sharing without the strain and anxiety of performing in front of an audience.
Again, don't get me started, or this first blog may just turn into that book I was talking about! I may continue this discussion on other days, or may just post random thoughts, musings, shockingly shoddy attempts at poetry, or whatever. No matter what it is, though, it's going to be a view into me -- where I am in that moment -- and it will be as honest as possible. Will anyone care? I can't imagine why they would. But I'm going to do it anyway. Maybe I'll be surprised.
Oh, and please check out my Web site if you have a chance. I do business out of my home studio under the name Your Body in Harmony [conveniently also the title of this blog ;-) ]. And if you're in Houston or plan to visit and would like a fantastic massage, drop me a line!
In harmony,
Joseph
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
